We made it through both Thanksgiving and Christmas without Mom. (Sharon). God really is the ultimate healer. We missed her deeply this season, but each of us are finding our life to be enriched by those we love and hold dear.
Dad spent Christmas with Charlotte (my aunt) and her family on Christmas Eve, Dinner with Joan and Joe (old neighbors) for Christmas Day and then drove to Illinois to spend some time with his brother's family.
Dad has lived with me since returning from the funeral. While Mom was sick, he did not think he would be able to live in the house after she was gone...too many memories. The plan was that he would move to Virginia where my sister and her family had been transferred. They have a huge house that has plenty of room for Dad. Yet, for some reason, Dad was not in a hurry to move out there. He spent a fair amount of time working at M2M, helping Pat and Gail meet Christmas deadlines.
Two Sundays ago, I took Dad to a 55+ apartment community in Kennesaw. It is a very nice community. We met a man named Cal who had lost his wife 2 years ago Christmas Eve. He and Dad had many emotions of grief in common. Cal told Dad that regardless if he moved into the community or not, he and Dad could meet for lunch some time.
A few days later, Dad decided to try staying a night at his house. He even slept in the room that he and Mom shared their last night together. I think he is going to paint the house and redecorate a little and live there. God is so amazing. He has given Dad strength that none of us thought he would have.
Those who know me, know that I can be pretty sure of my decisions and consequently, try diligently to convince others of my certainty. I've really been trying to Let Go and Let God!
This is my life after Mom. I'm letting go and focusing on knowing the One that gave my mom such peace in her dying days; the one that has given my father strength beyond all understanding. I'm giving over the areas of my life that I worry and fret over the most, my future marital relationship; my ability to be a mom, my career, my finances. I'm going to try to do it God's way for a change.
"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." -- Matthew 6:33-34
The last few years have been growing years for me. As I enter 2009, I do so without my Mom to share in my experiences. Yet, she is with me every day. I'm learning from her life and especially her death that we can do it the hard way or God's way. She did it God's way and I witnessed the blessings that come from that path.
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